Grandma

My Grandma is a very special lady to me. I love her dearly. Earlier this year she was diagnosed with cancer. My Grandparents live in Indianapolis, IN, so I don’t get to see them very often. However, with my Grandma’s cancer and not knowing how much time she has left, it has become very important for me spend as much time with them as possible. So, back in October, I went and spent a couple days with my Grandparents. I really enjoyed my time there. I was able to relax, get a little work done, and just be there with my Grandma and Grandpa. They know how much I like Indian food, so they took me to an Indian restaurant for lunch one day. We watched TV together and were just present with each other.

Due to holiday availability of the larger family, the date for the Christmas get together was changed over Thanksgiving from Christmas weekend to December 13-17. Amy and I had planned on being there. However, she doesn’t have any vacation days to use for the new dates and this was also the scheduled weekend as our major holiday outreach—the annual Christmas Store. When I heard these new dates, my heart immediately sank. Who knows if this will be my Grandma’s last Christmas—and I won’t be able to be there for it. I even spent some time crying (something which is rare for me!). My sister recently sent out a holiday questionnaire asking some of her family and friends some of their holiday traditions and favorite memories. Some of my favorite holiday and childhood memories are the ones spent with Grandma and Grandpa. I spent some time grieving the loss of making more memories this year.

As I have shared these events and feelings with those who are close to me, everyone has said how important it is for me to be in Indianapolis for the Christmas get together. I am trying not to live in the future too much, but rather live in the present. But it is hard not to think about the possibility that this may be the last Christmas with Grandma. Even my Grandpa admitted in a family email that their time may be coming soon. It is a reality that has to be faced. So right now I am trying to figure out how I can get to Indianapolis for the family gathering—one more chance to make special memories. I have talked with several individuals about the Christmas Store and covering for me. I am looking at flights from Memphis to Indianapolis on Friday and returning on Saturday evening or early enough on Sunday to still be able to preach at Wonder City. All the details haven’t been worked out yet, but it looks like I may make it after all. Should I make there, I want to be there and enjoy the family and make new memories without thinking the entire time, “This may be the last Christmas,” but I don’t know if I can or not. Either way, I imagine that this will be one of the most difficult holiday seasons that I have ever gone through.