Christmas Shoes

I have never liked the song "Christmas Shoes." I don't really don't know why. It may be due to the fact that Christmas is supposed to be a happy ocasion with family and friends and that song focuses on a more depressing event. However, I now understand that song with an understanding I wish I didn't have. To use the lyrics from the song...

My Grandma went to meet Jesus this morning.

I have cried a couple times today already and I am sure that I will cry some more. But as my mom said this morning when she told me, "Grandma got the best Christmas gift of all...she went home." I miss her already. I miss that she will never know her great-grandkids that Amy and I will have one day. I miss her warm smile and unconditional love. But I am thankful that she is not suffering. To borrow the lines from another song--I can only imagine the joy that she has right now. I can only imagine the peace that she has. I long for the day when I will see her again.

I love you Grandma!

Grandma Update

I spoke with my mom a few minutes ago and she gave me an update on my Grandma.

It doesn' t look too good. The cancer has spread and is confirmed now in the pancreas, liver, abdomen (pressing against her small intestine), and lungs. She also has a tumor on her elbow and hip. The tumor that is pressing against her small intestine is not allowing any food to pass from her stomach and the reason she has not kept anything down recently. She is having a procedure today to put a stint in her small intestine that will not collapse as the tumor continues to grow.

They have made the decision to stop all chemotherapy. The two chemos she has taken to this point were the best for treating pancreatic cancer (where hers started) and they have not done anything. They are talking about radiation for the tumors on her elbow and hip. Those are the only one causing her any pain. If they can shrink those tumors they are hopeful to get her off morphine and not need pain medication until the end.

Although the doctors are not giving any specific time line, they are also going ahead and setting Grandma up with hospice care. My sister (who has her nursing degree) has said that in her experience patients who are expected to live longer than six months do not receive hospice care.

Please continue to pray for my Grandma, me, and the rest of our family as we go through the next several months that God will help us endure whatever he allows to come our way.

Christmas Store

The thing I have heard over and over about this year’s Christmas Store from those who were there is that it was “the best Christmas Store we have ever had.” This is coming from church members, repeat volunteer workers, and community members. Officially the Christmas Store served over 100 adults who shopped for over 300 kids. That is over 300 children who will wake up Christmas morning with a gift under the tree to unwrap.

I need to take a minute and give out a special, “Thank You,” to all who made it possible for me to be away from the Christmas Store and be with my family. To Ann Rodgers (Wonder City Church member and Servant Leader) for running the Christmas Store. To Rodney Smithers, Phil and Barbara Clothier, and Sue Cash for coming down from Missouri Street to lead a hand. To Ryan and Emily Fowler for coming from Memphis Urban Ministry to lead a hand as well. To my wife Amy, who was unable to be with me in Indianapolis (although she wanted to be there), who took care a some last minute details and made sure that I was where I needed to be this past weekend.

I wish I had a story from someone from the Christmas Store about what it meant specifically to them, but I don’t. What I do have is a quote from Ryan Fowler (the Memphis Urban Ministry Administrator) who helped work the store. This is what he said.

Well, to me, the neatest part of the entire day wasn't necessarily all of the toys that were handed out. I found it even more special to see the Wonder City Church members who were there, some of whom could have easily been on the other side of the checkout counter, but instead were there serving their neighborhood and community by working at the store. The church members from Wonder City did an incredible job of running the store and making sure that everything went the way it needed to. And while Emily and I were happy to be there and to help out, there's just something extra special about neighbors helping out neighbors. That's why I appreciate Wonder City so much - it's a church that connects to the community that it is in, and that's something that all of our churches could do a better job of.

That is exactly what the Christmas Store is all about—connecting the church to the community. Serving those whom we are called to serve. Blooming where God has planted us. And isn’t that also what the Christmas season is all about—getting out of ourselves and giving. Jesus said, “It is more blessed to give than receive” (Acts 20:25). I don’t know that there has ever been a time in the nearly six years that I have been here that I have been prouder of Wonder City Church than I am over what they accomplished through this year’s Christmas Store.

Therefore the biggest, “thank you,” goes out to God. For loving us enough that he sent his son to earth. Born through a virgin. Whose “birthday” we celebrate in just few days. And for his continued work in and through Wonder City.

Merry Christmas!

Grandma, Grandpa, and New Memories

This past weekend I was able to be in Indianapolis with my family for Christmas. I enjoyed being there and making new memories. Some of my fondest memories growing up are being at Grandma and Grandpa’s—especially at Christmas. I have shared how my Grandma has cancer and how this may be here last Christmas (for more information see my previous post Grandma).

Grandma isn’t doing too well right now. Her cancer continues to grow and spread—now confirmed in her pancreas and liver and likely in her lungs and lymph nods. My mom shared with me that when she and my dad arrived on Wednesday that my Grandma “looked like death.” She was in pain and could not keep anything down. It was reported to me that Thursday she was doing some better. By the time I arrived on Friday, Grandma was up and about helping get ready for the evening dinner and gift exchange as much as she could.

However, Saturday was not a good day. She was back in bed and could not keep anything down again. She didn’t get out of bed until around dinner time. She came out into the living room and enjoyed a movie with the family who was still there. I left to return to Memphis on Sunday morning in time to be back for worship at Wonder City. Sunday night about midnight they took her to the hospital. Yesterday, they drained 4 liters of fluid off her abdomen.

It is amazing to me how the day that all the family was there, she felt well enough to be up and be with the family. Before we had the gift exchange Friday evening my aunt asked the family to share their most memorable Christmas gift. The gift I shared was our new home (although we moved in several months ago). However, as I have had time to reflect on this weekend, I believe of all the gifts that I have received or will receive this Christmas or any other, that gift from God will be the one that I will always remember. The fact that he allowed my Grandma to have her one good day over the course of the weekend on that specific day—the day that all the family was together and the day we celebrated Christmas as a family—is a gift that I will never forget.

I know that many of the people who read this blog are people of faith and prayer. Please add my Grandma—Emma Colglazier—to your prayer list. She is a special lady to me. I don’t want to lose her. Selfishly I want her here for many years to come. However, I don’t want her to suffer either. So pray for me also—that God will give me the strength to deal with whatever he has in his plans.

Blog Reading

Recently I have read several blog posts that need to be shared. The points made are too good not to be passed around. They were written by two men (Mike Cope and Larry James) that I have a huge amount of respect for (although I don't know either personally). In my opinion, these are two blogs that you (especially those in Churches of Christ) need to be reading on a regular basis.

Go to Mike Cope's Blog and read his posts titled Leroy, Richland Hills, and Instrumental Music and the one titled A Cappella Music.

Also, read Larry James' Urban Daily post titled Rick Warren and his critics.

Grandma

My Grandma is a very special lady to me. I love her dearly. Earlier this year she was diagnosed with cancer. My Grandparents live in Indianapolis, IN, so I don’t get to see them very often. However, with my Grandma’s cancer and not knowing how much time she has left, it has become very important for me spend as much time with them as possible. So, back in October, I went and spent a couple days with my Grandparents. I really enjoyed my time there. I was able to relax, get a little work done, and just be there with my Grandma and Grandpa. They know how much I like Indian food, so they took me to an Indian restaurant for lunch one day. We watched TV together and were just present with each other.

Due to holiday availability of the larger family, the date for the Christmas get together was changed over Thanksgiving from Christmas weekend to December 13-17. Amy and I had planned on being there. However, she doesn’t have any vacation days to use for the new dates and this was also the scheduled weekend as our major holiday outreach—the annual Christmas Store. When I heard these new dates, my heart immediately sank. Who knows if this will be my Grandma’s last Christmas—and I won’t be able to be there for it. I even spent some time crying (something which is rare for me!). My sister recently sent out a holiday questionnaire asking some of her family and friends some of their holiday traditions and favorite memories. Some of my favorite holiday and childhood memories are the ones spent with Grandma and Grandpa. I spent some time grieving the loss of making more memories this year.

As I have shared these events and feelings with those who are close to me, everyone has said how important it is for me to be in Indianapolis for the Christmas get together. I am trying not to live in the future too much, but rather live in the present. But it is hard not to think about the possibility that this may be the last Christmas with Grandma. Even my Grandpa admitted in a family email that their time may be coming soon. It is a reality that has to be faced. So right now I am trying to figure out how I can get to Indianapolis for the family gathering—one more chance to make special memories. I have talked with several individuals about the Christmas Store and covering for me. I am looking at flights from Memphis to Indianapolis on Friday and returning on Saturday evening or early enough on Sunday to still be able to preach at Wonder City. All the details haven’t been worked out yet, but it looks like I may make it after all. Should I make there, I want to be there and enjoy the family and make new memories without thinking the entire time, “This may be the last Christmas,” but I don’t know if I can or not. Either way, I imagine that this will be one of the most difficult holiday seasons that I have ever gone through.

Needed for Growth

God has done some wonderful things through Wonder City in the indigent community of West Memphis. However, Wonder City is in need of the following things in order for the church and the ministry to grow and be effective in the years to come. One is additional staffing and the other is a larger space to worship and conduct ministry.

Urban ministry is too demanding for one person to effectively minister alone. Every week I have to make decisions about what tasks will not get done or what visits will not be made. Sometimes these are easy decisions and sometimes they are difficult ones. Everyone who is in ministry knows that there is a certain amount of administration and tasks that need to get done. Unfortunately, ministry is not just being with and ministering to people. Bible classes and sermons are just one example of tasks that must be done weekly that take time away from being with people. There are also budgets, planning, organizing volunteers, and many other things that require time and attention. At the same time, ministry is about people. Urban ministry especially is about being with the people. One person can’t make sure adults are discipled, teens are taught and youth activities planned, families are ministered to, crisis are addressed (in urban ministry there is a crisis every week—real or perceived), sick are visited and evangelism takes place. More people are needed to make sure these needs are met.

The other area that needs to be addressed for Wonder City to grow is our worship facility. Our current facility is no longer adequate for the task of ministry. First, being in a storefront is a hindrance. Many in the African-American community do not view storefront churches as “real” churches. Despite all the good that Wonder City has done for the community, there are many who still do not see Wonder City as a real church because of our location in a storefront. Also, our location itself between a fish market and laundry mat is a hindrance. Imagine the smells that we receive in our space between those two businesses. However, the biggest factor is that we have simply outgrown the space. We need more space to adequately minister to individuals and the community. We have rearranged the walls inside our storefront space to add classroom space, but more is needed. We would like to offer our community a clothes closet, but there is no space. We would like to expand our after-school program—again lack of space. (Side note, we are not currently offering an after-school program due to a lack of staffing.) We would like to make Wonder City a safe place for teens to hang out after school off the streets playing games and listening to holy hip-hop, but we don’t have the space (or the staffing).

However, God is faithful and he has provided Wonder City with the opportunity to purchase the current facility of the First Church of the Nazarene. They have a 10,000 plus square foot church building with plenty of room to address all of our space needs. Two weeks ago (Sunday, November 19th), I presented the elders of our supporting church (Missouri Street Church of Christ) with a proposal to purchase the First Church of the Nazarene. They are actively discussing the purchase of the building as a group and with those involved with Wonder City. I will also be meeting with the elders in the coming weeks to discuss it with them and answer any questions they may have. I am hopeful and prayerful that the elders will approve this request and that Wonder City will be in a new home in the spring. Please be praying for this process and the decision that is to be made. Should you wish to donate to our building fund, checks can be mailed to

Wonder City Ministry Building Fund
c/o Missouri Street Church of Christ
1600 N Missouri St
West Memphis, AR 72301

Also, pray that God will be as faithful and provide additional staffing in the near future as well.