Conflict

I hate conflict. I really hate conflict! I tell people that my usual practice is to run from conflict like it was the plague. My motto is “Can’t we all just get along.” Unfortunately, this hasn’t always served me the best. Over the past several weeks I have been dealing with several issues that involve conflict—and require my leadership as the Director of the ministry and minister of the church.

The first is that two church “members,” who used to be best friends are not getting along. Their interpersonal conflict has spilled over into and has affected the life of the church. To me it is very much a Philippians 4 situation. We don’t know what happened between Euodia and Syntyche, but it was big enough that Paul knew about it—and he wasn’t even in Philippi. Paul told them to “iron out their differences and make up. God’s doesn’t want his children holding grudges” (The Message). While we knew the things that broke these to ladies apart, they seemed unable to work beyond them and iron out their differences. Unfortunately, we are still working to resolve this situation.

The other situation, which erupted last week, is too delicate to describe here and requires an investigation through the Arkansas Department of Human Services. Right now, I don’t see how there can be a happy ending with this one. People have been hurt and lives have been affected. While we are letting the authorities sort out the legal issues, there is a moral stand that must be taken by the church as well. In fact, our Servant Leaders made the decision last Wednesday (with my recommendation) to ask an individual to worship somewhere other than Wonder City, until the investigation could be completed and the results of that process were made available.

God must have some kind of humor. It has only been since the first of May that I have fully made the transition from the youth guy to the one leading the church. Right out of the blocks we have these two major issues. I wish I knew what God was doing! One thing is for sure though, I believe God is teaching and working on me just as much as others in these two situations. I believe that it is only through pain that we as individuals grow. When we are comfortable and things are going well, we have no reason to stretch and grow. It is only when life is tough and we are not comfortable that growth can occur. For me this has meant that I have had to fight my natural tendency to run from and avoid these issues. It has not been easy staying in the struggle. I wish I had the perspective on conflict that one of my good friends has. He views conflict as a sign of health. For him, the absence of conflict means that apathy has set in. But conflict means that people still care and are willing to work. Maybe one day I can have that view of conflict. But until then, I will fight. I will continue to fight the tendency within me to run from and avoid conflict. I will stay where God has put me until I have learned what it is that he wants me to learn. So pray for me. Pray that I will learn to value and accept conflict for the growth opportunity that it is.

And pray for those involved in these two situations. Pray that God will work them out to His glory!