Meet Kevin (not his real name). Kevin is 16 years old and is unable to attend school. He started the year in the 9th grade (already a year behind). However, he had trouble making it to school on time and was usually about 15 minutes late. Instead of marking him tardy and sending him to class, the office would tell him he had to go home and try again tomorrow. Now he has missed too many days and will not be allowed to pass to the 10th grade. He was also told that he would have to re-register in order to complete the school year.
Kevin though, is not dumb. He is one of the smartest teens in our youth group. He is emerging as a strong leader among our teens and is a positive example to our younger kids. He almost always knows the answers to the questions in Bible class. He knows how to be a regular teen and can hang out, goof off and have fun with the rest of the teens. However, Kevin knows when it is time to be serious and pay attention (something others his own age have not yet learned). Kevin knows he doesn’t have to show out to gain the attention and approval that all of our teens desperately want and need. Kevin is willing to do anything someone asks him without complaining about it. A lot of the times he will volunteer to do the “dirty” work just to have something to do and someone to hang out with. (This is definitely not typical of a 16 yr old boy.)
I was thinking about all of this Wednesday night on my way home after church. I nearly started to cry—it broke my heart. Here is a young man with so much potential. Yet, like so many young African-American men, he is being pulled down by societal forces around him. Sure he could have made some better choices, like getting out of bed earlier or not falling back asleep. But couldn’t we all have made better choices growing up! Here is a young man who needs someone who can step up and advocate for him. Be the voice that fights on his behalf. Unfortunately, there is a limit to what many of us can do. Not being his parent or guardian, there are many places (including schools) that are not willing to discuss Kevin with me, or even begin to work out a solution that is in the best interests of this young man. I want to fight for Kevin. I want to scream and shout, “This isn’t right!” There are many Kevin’s in our neighborhood. Please pray for Kevin and all the young men and women in our neighborhood just like him.
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The Magnificat
1 year ago
6 comments:
What's so unfair about making this young man follow the same rules that everyone else has to follow? If he can't learn to wake up on time, letting him through school on a "free pass" isn't going to do him any good, because he won't be able to keep a job showing up "15 minutes late".
I'm sure he's a great kid, but somebody needs to kick him in the rear end for being so stupid as to let sleeping in ruin his school career. Instead of screaming about the world being "unfair", why don't you tell him he's wasting his life because he can't get out of bed?
This is assuming that he isn't being forced to be late by a parent or somebody, of course...
The last thing many of these kids need is someone else on their rear end. They already have so many negative forces in their lives, they need someone who is "for" them. That doesn't mean I don't say hard things to these kids. Kevin and I have often talked about his schooling. The point is that its not just Kevin's issue/problem.
And yes, there were some factors outside of Kevin's control that caused him to be late on many occasions. He and his older cousin shared a bedroom and his cousin would come to bed later than Kevin and turn the alarm clock off becasue he didn't want to be woken up in the morning. Therefore Kevin would wake up late and get to school late.
And I am not asking that Kevin be allowed a "free pass" through school. Most schools have a tardy policy. But that policy wasn't even used in Kevin's case. And Kevin would still be required to make the grade to pass his classes. There is no "free pass" here.
Unfortunately, one of the downsides to putting someone's story out on the blog is that there is no way to give all the details. If I did, the stories would be so long that no one would take the time to read them. One more detail to fill in Kevin's stroy--Kevin and his counselor are working on getting him into Job Corp. This young man is working himself not to waste his life!
Having had experience with inner city people, I know that many kids don't have their parents there to help them and train them to take responsibility for things such as waking up with an alarm, etc. We take for granted some of these simple things as an alarm clock because we probably had several of them in the house. Maybe they haven't had the money to buy one. I don't know.
As a teacher I like to look for those that have the potential and reach out to them and give them the extra boost that they may not receive from others...especially family. Have you thought that maybe education is not a priority for "Kevin's" parents? Are his parents even present? You've probably trained and helped your child. That's not always the case in the inner city. Do you think the average 16 year old if left on his/her own would never be late if left up to himself/herself? Good grief, give the kid a break!!
We need to go to bat for kids like this that show the potential but need a positive influence encouraging them to make it.
Mack, thanks for being for Kevin what he needs, firm, but compassionate. Kicking and calling him stupid only goes so far. If I was told I was stupid I'd end up believing it and then what would be the point?
Sorry, but you hit a hot button there, anonymous...have you been to the neighborhood? Try it sometime.
Karla-- I totally agree with you on this one. Working with teens in the inner-city for the most part means that we are working without parental influence. While WCC has several parents that attend worship services, many of the teens that attend come on their own. This speaks volumes to us as we work with them. How many teens do you know will come to church without being forced to come by a parent or other relative. In a lot of cases, it is up to the teen to be responsible for themselves no matter what. Unfortuneatly, the systems that WCC works with don't care too much about working with these teens. They base how they treat an individual on pretense and on reputation alone, before even meeting a teen. For example, we have an 18 year old male at WCC who is struggling with Anger and Authority issues. He is still in school, but will more than likely be kicked out by the end of the year. His teachers at the beginning of the year wrote him off as not having any potential and never gave him a chance, thus making him feel stupid. This sets off the Anger and Disrespect attitude that many young African Males have in the Inner-City. It is when we give up on teens prior to giving them an opportunity to acheive greatness, that we not only have failed the child, but the systems that put the child in our responsibility in the first place. I believe that we all need to work harder at focussing on the child's needs, issues, and struggles, rather than jumping to conclusions based on our own ideas of how a teen should be. To Annonymous--If you ever want to visit WCC, we would welcome you at any time.
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